


Love Letters To No One

by tsukkibun



Category: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Awkwardness, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Kirishima Eijirou is Bad at Feelings, Love Letters, Love Triangles, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23709586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukkibun/pseuds/tsukkibun
Summary: Kirishima Eijirou is a hopeless romantic. Embarrassed to show this side of him to his classmates, he vents out his feelings in love letters, all unaddressed, in hopes of giving them to his future boyfriend. Somehow, his letters end up in the hands of his best friend, Kaminari Denki, and former crush, Bakugou Katsuki. In order to avoid confrontation with Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari start a fake relationship.A love triangle between Kaminari, Kirishima, and Bakugou!Note: This is the first, original, rough draft of this story. Some details may be out of order but this is mainly a way to get out my thoughts and practice my writing! I'll work on polishing up some of the chapters as the story goes on.
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki/Kirishima Eijirou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Kirishima Eijiro was a hopeless romantic. That, he could admit only to himself. His friends were used to his constant jokes and carefree attitude. The romantic side to him was something he had never shown to a single one of them. It was quite embarrassing to him. The “manly” image he tried to project wasn’t someone who would lay awake at night pining over a cute guy in the cafeteria or spend hours trying to stalk a classmate over social media. Without anyone to talk to, Kirishima was forced to keep all his feelings to himself. The only way he could vent was through his letters. 

Kirishima’s letters were his most secret possessions, and something he held very dear to his heart. There were hundreds of them, stretching back to when he was in grade school. Every time he had a crush, felt attracted to someone, or just longed for a relationship, he would take out a piece of paper and write everything he felt. None of the letters had an address. None of them even had a name at the top of the paper. The letters were just his feelings and his love. Everything on his mind expressed on a single sheet of paper.

The first letter he had ever written was kept separate from the rest, currently under the stack of books on his bookshelf. It dated back to when he was only seven years old. When he was in first grade, Kirishima thought he had the coolest friend in the world. He would go out of his way to make sure that they were always seat buddies, played on the same teams in gym class, and made his mom pack him an extra cookie every day to share. Kirishima thought that he was just being a good friend. After all, friends cared for each other. It wasn’t until he was being mocked for his pointed teeth that Kirishima realized that his feelings weren’t just platonic. There was a group of boys in his class that took great pride in hurting other people's feelings. Each day there was a new target to be teased, ridiculed, and harassed. Kirishima always tried his best to stay on their good side, but it got tiring after a while, and he couldn’t stand watching his classmates teary eyes and runny noses. After standing up for a girl who was picked on for not yet developing her quirk, it wasn’t long before the boys picked him as their target. They teased him, sticking out their tongues and chanting immature insults. Vampire, werewolf, anything they could think of that had sharp teeth got thrown at Kirishima. Biting his lip, he tried his best to stop himself from crying. Kirishima didn’t like to let things bother him. Rarely, something would, but he was always self-conscious about his teeth. However, his best friend grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him away from the bullies.

“Don’t listen to them Eijiro, they’re just jealous.”

“Jealous of what? I wish I had normal teeth…”

“They’re jealous of how cool your teeth are! Werewolves are awesome. They’re just mad that you’re so cooler than them.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah. Now come on! Let’s go eat lunch!”

Love. A word Kirishima heard tossed casually around the house between his parents, a word his mom always said to him. He had always known what family love was, but it wasn’t until he started school that people began to talk about a different kind of love. Romantic love. Kirishima was always confused by it, he often saw his classmates pretending to get married and playing house at recess. Girls would run around, shrieking, as boys would chase them. He had even seen one of his classmates kiss another on the cheek, but he himself had never felt the urge to do so. He liked being friends with everyone in his class and never saw a need to be anything more than that. But that day his friend stood up for him, taking his hand, and comforting him. That was the moment Kirishima first fell in love. He wasn’t sure what it was about that moment, but listening to his friend compliment him, and eating lunch together underneath the bleachers made his heart begin to race. At that moment, he knew that love was the only explanation. The problem was that he had no idea what to do. He hadn’t seen any of the boys chase each other unless they were playing tag. Was that how they did it? Did he have to challenge his friend to a game of a tag? Maybe if he won, then they could be in love with each other, Kirishima thought. He dispelled the thought from his head after realizing what an irrational plan that was. All of his classmates that “dated” usually confessed to each other during recess. Kirishima wasn’t sure he had the courage to do so. He felt scared for some reason, these feelings were brand new and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them.

“Eijiro, what are you doing?” his mother asked, walking into his bedroom.

“Nothing. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

Kirishima looked away from his mother, blushing, and mumbled awkwardly.

“How did you tell dad that you loved him?”

His mother was surprised, laughing slightly. Seeing her son all embarrassed was adorable, and she resisted the urge to scoop him up and hold him in her arms. The last time she did so his quirk accidentally activated and she ended up with a cut on her face.

“Your dad actually told me first.”

“No way! He did?” Kirishima exclaimed, moving over as his mother sat next to him on his bed.

“Yep. It was after my last class of the day, and I was walking to my apartment when your dad stopped me. He was going to a school in a different city than I was and it scared me!”

“Why was he there?”

“He said-ah this is silly-he couldn’t go another minute without seeing me,” his mother said, letting Kirishima rest his head on her lap.

“When did he say ‘I love you’ though?”

“Ah, that? He slipped a note in my coat pocket while he was walking me home. He was too nervous to say it out loud, but after he came all that way I realized how he felt.”

“Okay, I think I know what to do. Thank you, Mom!”

“So, who are you trying to-”

“MOM!”

Kirishima’s mother laughed as her son pushed her out of his room, closing the door. He was flustered and was starting to regret asking his mother for advice, but he had no idea what to do. Thoughts of his best friend wouldn’t leave his mind. He didn’t think he had the courage to tell them face-to-face, but his dad’s idea of writing a note didn’t seem that bad.

And so, Kirishima began writing a note.

_Thank you for always standing up for me. I want to be someone that can stand up for you too. You’re always so cool and you made me really happy today when you talked to me. I’m really happy that you’re my friend._

_You’re also really pretty._

_I hope you think that I’m pretty too._

_Love, Eijiro_

As soon as he signed the note, Kirishima realized he’d never be able to actually give it to the boy in person. It was too embarrassing. He didn’t want to admit it, but he thought that sending this note could end his friendship. And so, he left the top blank, folded up the letter, and placed it at the bottom of his desk drawer. That was how the love letters started. Eight years had passed since then, and Kirishima now had an entire box dedicated to his letters. The ideal recipient always changed over time, but he kept his letters vague, in hopes that one day, his future boyfriend would fit every letter he had ever written.

Sadly, that boyfriend still hadn’t arrived. But high school was a new beginning, a chance to finally find someone to receive all of the letters. Kirishima looked in the mirror, making sure every hair on his head was in place. He winked at his reflection, before quickly cringing at himself and pretending that he had never done that in the first place. 

“Make sure you have enough money for the bus fare!” his mother called out.

“Yeah yeah, I got it,” he replied, slinging his backpack over his soldier and closing the apartment door behind him.

U.A. Academy was the most prestigious school for heroes in the country, and Kirishima couldn’t believe that they had accepted him. Filling out the form he thought it was a stretch, but three months later when he received his acceptance letter he almost burst into tears. After a short summer break from middle school, the time had finally come for him to start chasing his dream. Arriving thirty minutes before the bus, he sat on the bench and flipped through the informational packet they had sent with his letter. He had already read it five times through, but every time made him even more excited about his new life as an aspiring hero. Each page was filled with details about the pro-heroes that taught the classes, dorm-life, and everything he had been looking forward to that entire summer. Kirishima couldn’t wait to meet everyone at U.A. and work with his future teammates. Everything he had been working towards led up to his first day at U.A. and there wasn’t a single thing that could possibly ruin his mood. 

“The fuck do you mean, early? The bus is late.”

A sharp voice cut through Kirishima’s thoughts, startling him.

“Language, sir. The bus won’t be arriving for another twenty minutes. I suggest you sit down and wait.”

“Whatever,” the boy snapped, throwing himself down on the bench beside him. 

As soon as he heard the boy’s voice, Kirishima had realized who he was. 

Bakugou Katsuki. His former best friend, and future classmate at U.A. 

Kirishima had hoped that Bakugou wouldn’t have been accepted, but he knew that the most talented kid in his year most definitely would be. U.A. was Bakugou’s dream, and it was foolish of him to think that running away to high school would’ve meant ignoring what had happened between them. It was simply impossible to forget the perfect moment they shared. Coming to a close sooner than either of them would have liked.


	2. Chapter 2

Police sirens echoed throughout the air covering the sounds of the crickets chirping. Illuminated only by the small specks of light coming from the fireflies, Kirishima was glad Bakugou couldn’t see the redness in his cheeks as the two passed a single lit cigarette between them.

“Oh my god, Katuski,” he laughed, watching Bakugou cough on the first drag.

“Quit laughing at me dumbass,” he snapped, inhaling less of the smoke.

Bakugou refused to let anyone see any kind of weakness to him, carrying himself in a way that made others think he was flawless. He was top of the class, projected to go to the U.A. Academy, and was on track to becoming a pro-hero. His only flaw was his temper, quick to start a fight with anyone who dared to look in his direction. The only person he let remotely close to him was Kirishima. Kirishima wasn’t sure why Bakugou chose him to be his only friend. He didn’t see anything special about the way he treated him, but being in Bakugou’s company was surprisingly fun. Although they often argued, Kirishima didn’t see their fights as harsh, but rather friendly bickering. Bakugou had his moments when he expressed care, rare moments, but Kirishima treasured every one of them. Their friendship was unique, and even with all of the other people he had in his life, Kirishima truly considered Bakugou to be his best friend. He knew that deep down, Bakugou thought so too, even if he would refuse to admit it. So when Bakugou suggested that for their last day of middle school, they skip their graduation and smoke the pack of cigarettes he had stolen from his parents, Kirishima couldn’t help but agree.

They snuck out of a back door near the cafeteria and walked out behind the stadium building behind the school. Bakugou suggested they walk out towards the town, to avoid being caught by any of their classmates or teachers. Kirishima could already feel his phone going off in his pocket, but he flipped the ringer off and ignored his texts. Even if the graduation was mandatory, he wasn’t sure of when he would get to spend time with Bakugou like this again. He still hadn’t heard back from any of the schools he applied for, and the anxiety of not knowing was killing him. The two walked alongside each other, wrapped in a frivolous conversation about the fight they had seen the last day. A slime villain had terrorized another middle schooler and the famed hero, All-Might showed up to stop him. Bickering back and forth about which one of them would be able to stop the villain, the two eventually had come to a stop near an abandoned alleyway. The sun had started to set while Kirishima and Bakugou became increasingly aware of the fact that they were now truly alone. Pulling out the package, Bakugou realized that the pack he swiped only had three cigarettes left in it, but played it off like he had finished the rest of them by himself. Kirishima could tell that he was lying but ignored it. There was something about this particular moment that made him reluctant to tease him as he usually did. Leaning against the brick wall, they passed the last cigarette in the package between them. Neither of them was fond of the smoke pouring into their lungs, but they refused to let the other see and insisted on sitting in silence until the flame extinguished. Bakugou pressed the cigarette down on the pavement and tossed it to the side.

“So, now what?” Kirishima asked.

They had told their parents that they were going to be at the class graduation party for the rest of the evening, and coming back home so early would’ve been incredibly suspicious.

“I have an idea. Follow me.”

Bakugou walked out of the alleyway, checking for anyone they would’ve known, and ran towards the road.

“Katsuki!” Kirishima called out, running behind him, “Where are we going?”

“Race you there!” Bakugou yelled back.

“I don’t even know where we’re going?”

“Guess that means I’m winning!”

"No way, you really think I'll let you off that easy?"

Kirishima promised himself that he would never let Bakugou get too far ahead of him. While he had lots of friends in his classes, Bakugou was the one he usually found himself drawn to. Spending so much time together led his other friends to call him “Bakugou’s sidekick”. Kirishima thought of Bakugou as an inspiration, someone to model himself after. Even with his bitter personality, Bakugou had a drive like no one he had ever seen before. He pushed Kirishima to be a better student and inspired him to be a better person. After every fight, Kirishima was the one who waited for him, bandaged his wounds, and sent an apologetic text to Bakugou’s victim. Bakugou Katsuki never lost.

“I win!” Bakugou yelled, coming to an abrupt stop.

“Is this…?”

Bakugou had led Kirishima to an abandoned building; a parking garage that hadn’t been used in years. It was where Bakugou tended to spend his spare time when Kirishima wasn’t with him. He knew of its existence only from the various pictures of Bakugou flipping him off that were sent every time he checked upon him.

“What are you waiting for, shitty hair? Let’s go.”

Bakugou hoisted himself over the chain-linked fence and began scaling up the side of the building. Kirishima tried his best to match Bakugou’s steps, each one strategically placed so he couldn’t lose his balance. The sweet, smoky summer air was almost suffocating as they climbed higher, near the top.

“Oh shit-”

Bakugou suddenly grabbed Kirishima’s hand and fired off an explosion towards the ground. The momentum boosted them both upwards, and Bakugou carried them both to the ground.

“Kirishima! Run!” Bakugou yelled.

“What’s going on?” he yelled back, confused.

Kirishima glanced up at the parking garage to find a security guard peering over the edge and screaming. Bakugou looked back, flipped him off, and broke into a sprint. Chasing after the blonde-haired boy, Kirishima ran as fast as he could, the screams from the man still echoed in his head.

“The police are on their way you little shits!”

Bakugou had been up there so many times, yet the one time he brought Kirishima with him, it had to be ruined. He bit his cheek in frustration while Bakugou ducked unto another alleyway after doing a quick glance to make sure Kirishima was still behind him. A sweet gesture for someone who once told him that he needed to “hurry the fuck up or I’m leaving you behind”. Kirishima listened to the fading noise of the sirens before following him.

“Holy. Shit.” Bakugou said as Kirishima avoided stepping in a puddle of mud.

“I can’t believe we just got away with that.”

“Hell yeah, we did!.” Bakugou cheered, his eyebrows still furrowed but a hint of a smile peeking out from his lips.

Suddenly, the sounds of the sirens began growing louder.

“Fuck,” Bakugou groaned, “I thought we lost them.”

“Katuski, what are we going to do?”

“I-ugh-just come here.”

Bakugou pulled Kirishima closer towards him, out of view from any passing cars. As he grabbed his hand and tugged Kirishima over, the quick movement caused both of them to topple over, Kirishima falling on his back, and Bakugou falling right on top of him. Kirishima could feel his cheeks starting to blush.

“Katsuki-”

Bakugou wouldn’t stop staring at him. His eyes traveled from the top of Kirishima’s head, and his gaze faltered towards his lips. A moment passed by, that felt like hours, as Kirishima felt Bakugou’s entire body on him, and their faces moving closer together, slowly, and suddenly.

Fireworks.

As Bakugou pressed his lips against him, his entire body felt like it was going to explode. Heart-racing, he pressed his body against Bakugou’s, feeling his warmth of each other fueling the exchange. His lips surprisingly soft, light and dainty against his own, pulling away slightly.

Kirishima had never felt anything like this before. Kirishima lost himself in Bakugou’s lips, every nervous part of him melting away in the bitter, addicting taste. Every moment their lips parted left Kirishima begging for more. Nervously, Kirishima let out a shaky breath before pulling Bakugou back in, his arms wrapping around his waist. Bakugou took this as an invitation to roll over, Kirishima now on top of him. He smirked, a sign that he knew all too well what this was doing to Kirishima.

“Fuck...Eijiro…” Bakugou whispered in his ear, causing Kirishima to let out another shaky breath.

Wrapped in each other's embrace and legs intertwined, neither knew what to do next. Everything between them changed. Their friendship was suddenly different, and Kirishima was…

Terrified.

Making the biggest mistake of his life, Kirishima pulled himself out of Bakugou’s arms and ran. He ran from the worry, the fear, the anxiety. He ran from the thought that this was all a joke. He ran away from the feelings he had subconsciously felt for Bakugou the minute they decided to run away. Looking back at Bakugou’s face and his hurt, wounded expression was the only thing that made Kirishima realize. Whatever had happened that night, was real. The single thought of it terrified him.


	3. Chapter 3

Both boys stared at each other, neither sure of what to do or say. Months had passed since they had last seen each other, months since Kirishima had stopped sending texts to Bakugou’s phone, and months since either of them had made an attempt to see each other again. Kirishima wasn’t sure if he should greet, hug, or apologize to him. Before he could even bother to reach out his hand, Bakugou glared at him and turned his music up so loud that it could be heard through his earbuds. Kirishima sighed, somewhat relieved, and went back to flipping through his booklet. While he desperately wanted to talk to Bakugou, he just didn’t know what to say. A simple greeting couldn’t fix the friendship he had ruined. Knowing Bakugou, Kirishima would probably end up with explosion burns all over his face.

A tense and awkward bus ride later, the two had finally arrived at U.A. Academy. Kirishima took the entire atmosphere in, watching the orange leaves slowly cascade down and the light breeze flowing through the air. It was everything he had imagined, yet somehow, more. There was an unexplainable feeling of determination, radiating off every one of the students walking around campus. U.A. was a place for aspiring heroes, and every one of its attendees was seemingly desperate to become one. Kirishima couldn’t wait to begin his new life as a hero-in-training.

“Let’s see here,” he paused, “Homeroom is first, in 1-A...I guess that’s my class then.”

He tucked his schedule into his back pocket and made his way into the building, wandering the halls until he finally found his classroom. 

“Kirishima Eijiro?” a tired, lifeless looking man asked, stopping him at the door.

“Uh...yeah! Nice to meet you, sir!” Kirishima said, bowing his head.

“Seat 8.”

Kirishima let out an awkward smile before walking into the room, setting his bag down by his desk.

“Kirishima! No way, I had no idea you applied!”

Mina, a pink-skinned, alien-like girl, barreled towards Kirishima, wrapping him in a tight hug. She was someone who Kirishima admired, and considered a friend, from middle school.

“Mina! That’s so awesome that we ended up here together!” Kirishima smiled.

“I know, right? Let me introduce you to these guys, you’ll love them!”

Mina gestured to a group of kids, each with vastly different appearances. A girl with dark hair and plugs hanging from her ears was absentmindedly flipping through a textbook, drumming her fingers on her desk. Meanwhile, a boy with a wide smile and bright eyes was using tape from his arms to fling small balls at what looked like a child with bumpy purple hair. Everyone in their class was unique, but one boy stood out in particular to him. A little shorter than he was, the boy was bright and energetic, seemingly about to burst with excitement. He had honey-colored hair, light and fluffy with a black streak in the shape of lightning, and dark, golden eyes. As he glanced at Kirishima, he could feel himself blush slightly, and the boy smiled waving his hand.

“Guys! Come meet my friend Kirishima!” Mina yelled, pushing him towards them.

The child ran away from the tape boy as the girl with purple hair folded down a page in her book.

“This is Sero,” Mina said, pointing to the tape boy. “He has tape coming out of his arm.”

“Isn’t there a cooler way to say that?” the boy teased, giving a light wave to Kirishima.

“I don’t know man, tape coming out of your arms is probably the only way to explain your quirk. I’m Kaminari Denki by the way,” he smiled, looking back at Kirishima.  
Kirishima grinned, and grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly.

“Kirishima Eijiro. You got an electric quirk?”

“Yeah, electrification! I can send out electricity I store in my body! How’d you know?” Kaminari asked, his eyes lighting up.

“You look like you’re about to go into shock,” the girl deadpanned.

She looked Kirishima up and down and nodded.

“I’m Kyouka Jiroh. Kaminari is an idiot, so you might want to start getting used to it.”

“Aw Jiroh, that’s so mean,” Kaminari whined, looking up in exasperation, “It’s just part of my quirk!”

“Hey Kirishima, what color is his sweater?”

“Gray?”

“Tell him what color you said it was.”

“Dark white…”

Kirishima laughed, punching Kaminari in the shoulder.

“Dude that’s hilarious! Dark white, where’d you come up with that?”

Kaminari smiled, his face brightening as he realized that Kirishima wasn’t going to make fun of him. Jiroh sighed, running a hand through her hair.

“I guess you guys are the same breed.”

“Isn’t this awesome you guys? We’re all friends already! This is going to be so much fun!” Mina cheered.

“Yeah,” Sero smiled, “But what’s up with that guy?”

Kirishima looked over to where Sero was pointing and felt his heart fall out of his chest. Bakugou was standing at the door, staring daggers into Kirishima’s eyes.

“Oh! Bakugou, hey!” Mina waved.

Bakugou tsked and sat down in the seat farthest from the rest of the class.

“That’s weird, isn’t he your best friend?” Mina asked, the rest of the group staring at Kirishima in confusion. He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, unsure of whether it was over being associated with Bakugou or having to explain that they weren’t quite friends anymore. Bakugou’s indifferent attitude was something his new classmates weren’t used to yet. He felt ashamed over being embarrassed, but Bakugou clearly didn’t care about his appearance, and popped his earbuds back in, closing his eyes with his feet up on the desk. Kirishima used to be jealous of the fact that Bakugou didn’t care what others thought of him. Now, he wasn’t quite sure. He was focused on trying to get to know his classmates.

“Uh, yeah, we kinda fell out over the summer,” Kirishima laughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

It was the only way for him to explain the summer incident without crying to a group of practical strangers.

“Aw, that sucks. Anyway, I heard a rumor that All-Might is going to be teaching our hero classes!”

Kaminari took control of the conversation, telling all about the stories he had heard from the kids in his neighborhood. While he couldn’t be absolutely sure, Kirishima had a feeling he was being saved from further questioning from Mina, and he felt moved by Kaminari’s nice gesture. He already felt a small connection to the boy, from the moment they first started talking. Kaminari’s adorable looks might have played a small part in that. Kirishima sighed, already seeing that this was heading towards another mess of letters in his notebook.

“Alright. Let’s get started with learning something.”

Mr. Aizawa interrupted the introductions and immediately sprang into an English lesson, completely ignoring the protests from Kaminari and Mina. The group went back to their assigned seats, all marked with their names and a light canvas bag filled with supplies. The only thing he had brought from home was his notebook of love letters. His mom had already suspected something was up when she saw him pull out the notebook at any spare chance he got, and Kirishima knew that she would take the opportunity of his absence to pry. Besides, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the letters at home. Re-reading them made him feel sentimental somehow, and they reminded him of how strong his emotions could be. Kaminari was already furiously scribbling down the notes on the board, and as Kirishima was seated next to him, he couldn’t help but admire the boy. Absentmindedly, he felt himself drift from the lesson and start to write another letter.

_Soulmates have to exist. It’s a weird idea that there’s only one person out there that’s considered your soulmate, but doesn’t it make sense? It’s amazing to think about, a perfect match, somewhere out there in the universe. Even if we just met, I think there’s some kind of spark between us. A bad pun? Yes, but something about you tells me that you would appreciate it. We’ve only talked for ten minutes, yet I feel like I can trust you completely. You’re the brightest person in this room, and I can’t help myself from being drawn to you. The golden specks in your eyes are beautiful, the way your hair frames your face and how you have to tuck it behind your ears to keep it out of your way. If I could just get to know you, maybe I’d have a chance of finding...my soulmate?_   
_Love, Kirishima_

It was blatantly obvious who this letter was about. It was embarrassing how quickly Kirishima had already become fixated on Kaminari. From the beginning, he purposely had himself keep his letters vague. Yet as time went on, and his crushes became more intense, his letters did end up becoming directed towards specific people. Kaminari’s letter was a little intense. Especially for something written in class. Kirishima quickly ripped out the letter and crumpled it into a ball.

“Sorry, I wrote something down wrong.”

“Next time, use an eraser,” Aizawa deadpanned, “Bakugou, eyes on the board please.”

Kaminari snickered and elbowed him, lightly jerking his head back towards where Bakugou was sitting. Bakugou was in an intense staring contest with the back of Kirishima’s head. Kirishima rolled his eyes at Kaminari, laughing it off, as Aizawa moved on with the lesson. Sighing, he turned a page in his notebook. Memories had begun to resurface of the night they had spent together and was filling him with sentiment. It was his first day at U.A, yet he couldn’t focus on any of his studies. He could feel Bakugou glaring at him from the back of the classroom, waiting for him to make any kind of mistake.

_I would do anything to have you here in my arms right now. To close the distance between us, to share this song only between the two of us, not to the entire world. A song just for us. I think of your hand over mine, your head resting on my chest as you absentmindedly scroll through your phone. You’re bored, annoyed even, but I would just be distracted by you. No matter how hard I try to move on, to get away from you, my heart always wanders right back to yours. I could never tell this to your face, but I miss you. I miss you more than anything and I hate that I was embarrassed by you. How could I be embarrassed by someone as incredible as you are? Even if I was stupid, I still loved you regardless. I just want you back._   
_Love, Kirishima_

Kirishima stared down at his letter before ripping it out of his notebook and crumpling it into a ball, to the annoyance of Aizawa. Anything he had with Bakugou was completely over. There was no chance of anything happening again. He desperately wanted to shove his feelings down, hide them from himself, but he knew that he couldn’t get rid of how he felt for Bakugou so easily. Kaminari was sweet, funny, cute, but he didn’t have the years of history Bakugou and Kirishima had. Lingering feelings would have to eventually fade over time though, so there was no need for him to keep this letter at all. He had new friends, a new chance, and a new future. Bakugou Katsuki was in the past.

“Kirishima! Let’s go grab lunch!” Kaminari yelled, Sero, Mina, and Jiroh following behind him.

“Yeah! Let’s!” he smiled, running after them.


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks of intense training, all-nighters, and cramming sessions had passed, and Kirishima was finally starting to feel settled into his new life. While U.A.’s classes were understandably hard, he felt like he could get through anything with the support of his friends. His new friends were great people. They spent most of their time outside of training watching movies, going on convenience store runs, and playing Just Dance in the common room, as well as trying their best to help Mina and Kaminari study. Kirishima had grown really close to Kaminari and Sero, Kaminari was now someone he considered his best friend. While Kirishima had plenty of distractions, Bakugou still happened to pop up in his mind every once in a while. Seeing the packages of spicy ramen he subtly avoided buying, re-watching a horror movie they had seen together, and memories of the times they had spent at the arcade often resurfaced while hanging out with his new friends. The group knew next to nothing of his history with Bakugou, but knew well enough to avoid him, no matter how desperately Mina wanted them to make up. Kaminari always seemed to notice when Kirishima was a little off and never failed to lighten his mood with a quick joke or a stupid plan-resulting in their group being banned from the three movie theaters closest to campus. Kaminari was the human embodiment of sunshine, and Kirishima knew that he wouldn’t have been able to get through anything without him. So when Kaminari approached him in the hallway after training, something about him seemed off. 

“Hey, Kirishima, can we talk about something?”

“Yeah, dude what’s up?” he smiled.

Kaminari looked different than usual. His bright smile was faltering, and small beads of sweat were lined off his forehead. He seemed nervous. Emotions that Kaminari had never portrayed to him.

“Is something wrong?” Kirishima asked, worried.

He reached out for Kaminari’s arm, but Kaminari quickly pulled back. 

“I! Um...sorry..I-” Kaminari stammered, “It’s just the letter you wrote me?”

“Letter? What are you talking-” 

And suddenly, Kirishima’s world fell apart. His letters, his most private and secret thoughts, exposed and out in the open. Words he never wanted anyone to hear were now inscribed in Kaminari’s mind; an entire facet of his personality he had tried so desperately to hide. Everything about it was so…

Weak. 

His futile friendship with Bakugou proved that he himself was weak. Unable to act on his own feelings, concealing a major part of his identity, these were all things that he regretted but he couldn’t bring himself to expose. Yet here he was, standing face to face with the very thing that had torn him apart. Confrontation was never his specialty. He found it too complicated and preferred to breeze over things with a light joke. But everything about this situation was complicated. He had never expected his letters to be sent out against his own will. And to his best friend, nonetheless.

“Oh my god.” he sighed, running a hand through his hair, “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Yeah, I figured. I mean I thought you were trying to prank me at first? But the things you said were kinda...really intense... and then I realized that there’s no way you could do that. Hey, I really appreciate it though, you said some really nice things and I just didn’t want it to be weird. It’s just that I-”

Kaminari’s words were fading out of Kirishima’s head as he noticed a figure walking towards them. Bakugou Katsuki. Bakugou Katsuki with a crumpled piece of notebook paper in his hand.

“Oh my god.”

Memories began flooding back into his head. Their friendship, their moments, their summer. Bakugou, the person who called his strength ‘unbreakable’. Ironic that he ended up being the person who broke him. He had spent weeks, months, contemplating the  _ what-ifs _ of the situation, looking back on everything he had regretted. So many different possibilities, and yet he couldn’t see himself acting upon a single one of them. Bakugou Katsuki was the epitome of strength. And he, Kirishima Eijiro, was anything but. He just couldn’t comprehend why Bakugou would want to stay. He himself desperately wanted to stay in that alleyway, feeling the dark, cold pavement pressed against his back and the smoky air in his lungs, but intertwined in Bakugou’s embrace and feeling the warmth of his body comfort him. He wanted to cling to that fleeting moment, to relive it and to revive the small spark of a match that he himself had put out. It was so unbearably weak of him to leave him the way he did, but Kirishima knew that any attempt he could possibly make to reconcile would just leave him even more hurt than he had already been.. He couldn’t even imagine Bakugou seeing an ounce of strength within him, already forgetting every reason why Bakugou had grown to trust him in the first place. But now Bakugou, Bakugou, was walking towards  _ him.  _ This was the perfect opportunity. Bakugou locked eyes with Kirishima, an invitation for another conversation, one different from their earlier exchange. But thinking about the most likely outcome, he just couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk another heartbreak. 

“Yeah, so it’s cool! Let’s just move on!” Kaminari smiled, a little more sure of himself.

“Kaminari? I’m sorry about this.” 

Kaminari’s eyes widened as Kirishima grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss. A short kiss, but passionate, fueled by the panic he felt inside of him. When he opened his eyes, Kaminari was staring back at him in shock, and Bakugou had stopped dead in his tracks. 

“Uh, thanks!” Kirishima blurted out, letting Kaminari go before sprinting out of the training center, right past Bakugou. 

“Kaminari!” Bakugou yelled, stuffing the letter in his pocket, “What the fuck was that?”

“I-” Kaminari stuttered, not quite sure himself. He looked at Bakugou, looked back at Kirishima running away, and decided that confronting Kirishima was clearly the better option. 

Kirishima ran to the dorms and slammed the door of his room shut. Leaning his back against his door, he closed his eyes and took a few deep, slow breaths. The letters were out. His most secret, private thoughts and feelings were now out and open to the two people he never wanted them to be out to. Bad memories, intrusive thoughts, and his most deepest anxieties. And he had kissed Kaminari.  _ Holy fucking shit he kissed Kaminari _ . The idiocy of that situation was just now sinking in as he realized what a mistake that had been. Not only had he fucked up the most important friendship in his life, now he had ruined any chance he might have had at having a group of friends.

“Kirishima. It’s me.” 

Speak of the devil. Kaminari fumbled with the doorknob before sliding Kirishima’s letter under the door.

“I thought you might want that back. Do you mind… letting me in?

Kirishima sighed, picking the letter of the floor and throwing it under his bed.

“Yeah. It’s unlocked, just kick the door, it gets stuck.”

“Aight lemme just-” 

Kaminari slammed into the door, busting it through the door frame and falling directly at Kirishima’s feet.

“WHAT THE FUCK-”

“So, you come here often?”

“Kaminari this is my room you just BROKE MY FUCKING DOOR??”

“Aha,” Kaminari smiled weakly, “I’ll buy you a new one?”

Kirishima sighed and let out a small laugh. Leave it to Kaminari to lighten up a situation, no matter how serious.

“So are we going to talk about earlier?”

“Oh. Uh yeah about that-”

“Don’t get me wrong dude, you’re hot as hell, but like that was real fast and real forward-”

“Oh my god, Kaminari can I just talk for a second,  _ please _ .”

Kaminari decided to take this moment to finally shut up.

“I didn’t mean anything by it. Bakugou was coming and I just panicked.”

“But why were you panicking about Bakugou…?”

At this point, Kirishima realized that he was already in too deep. Kaminari knew almost everything, and there was no point in trying to hide everything anymore. So, he told him everything.

“Bakugou… got a letter too.”

“Wait, hold on... you’re telling me that I wasn’t the only guy who got a letter?”

“Uh…”

“Wow, you really think you’re special and then you find out that he wrote love letters to two guys.”

“Dude, the letters aren’t  _ for _ anyone.”

“Well, mine was pretty spot-on. You did talk a lot about the  _ sparks in my eyes _ , was it? And how we were  _ soulmates? _ ”

“Dude,” Kirishima groaned, “Way too early to be joking about this.”

“Oh, my bad. So you gonna explain or what?”

After Kirishima had spent twenty minutes reliving every moment of his friendship with Bakugou, Kaminari was astoundingly speechless.

“This is all really private stuff, and I'm only telling you this because I trust you so please-”

“Kirishima,” Kaminari smiled, a mischievous spark in his eyes.

_ “Let’s date.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading so far! This is my first time publishing a fic on AO3 and I'm really excited for the later chapters to come! The fact that people have taken time to read my work is still crazy to me, and I'm really grateful for the support I've gotten so far <3
> 
> Kirishima is kind of ooc, but his feelings about the letters and BK are really personal, and he still has a lot of pent-up anxiety and frustration about what happened over the summer. So, of course, he's going to be dumb :)))) BK had a lot of things to say about that letter ;)))))))))))


End file.
